Summer Luggage & Baggage

It’s been a busy one so far. And that busy got going before Summer even got here. There’s been plenty of late nights and camp outs at grandparents. We have trips planned for the bits to come; beach, Biltmore, and total blackness come the Apocalypse. Or eclipse, which is what most people call it. But let’s be honest, the sun being blotted from the sky, a tiny handed tyrant of an Oompa Loompa in the Oval Office, weather severely out of whack, yeah. It’s the End Times.

We’ve done a huge amount of cleaning. Okay, I’ve done a huge amount of cleaning. The missus does seem inspired by such, and has even taken to purging clothes she should have purged easily a decade ago. But that’s at least something.

It’s been so long since I’ve been by here that I’m not sure where I left off last time. Did I mention the ex contacting the missus? This is the girl I was seeing before seeing here. And the drama that all of that entailed… really isn’t a thing. But apparently the ex still seems to think so. After nearly TWENTY FUCKING YEARS. What the hell people?

While it seems she’s in a ‘good place’ (Whatever that exactly means) I honestly still pretty much think she’s a nutbar. I can’t help but think it’s all some ruse or trick on her part, her mad ranting and ravings have had no effect all those years ago. I imagine I didn’t emerge as unscathed as I’ve thought all these years. I don’t want to go so far as to say shit like trauma and what not, but when all of this contact first started I did have a couple of nights where I felt a need for liquid courage. Hmm.

I’ve been making the most of all my free time. Okay, I’ve been wasting a lot of time, but that’s been good as well. But game notes for all manner of games and tons of guitar practice has been a great way to spend the Summer.

Advertisements

Lagomorphs, Lion Fish, and LARP

I let the missus convince me to go to the local LARP, again. I got to say I agree that it was nice to see everybody. I got to also say that it might, might, be nice to get back into it and hang out with everybody again. Because honestly what I’d like to do is just hang out and chat about a lot of other stuff. Which happens at LARP. It’s kind of the penultimate in ‘hurry up and wait’.

I don’t know if I mentioned the rabbit. We finally got one. Her name is Honey and she’s a sweet little thing. The kids are still excited, especially the Beast. It’s something she’s wanted for years. The missus and I let her tear around the living room at night, after making sure the dog and kitten are out of the way. We have also noticed she’s not as gross as the cats. No hacking up hairballs, no smelly crap in the litter box. And she uses the litter box! No muss, no fuss. Speaking of Ms. Kitten, she’s keen on nibbling on Honey. There’s been a number of attempts on her part to get into the room with her and chomp down on her neck. For her part, Honey doesn’t seem to mind. Or notice for that matter.

We went to the Science Center today. The new aquarium is still as awesome as last time. The octopus was actually out and about, and even moved around their tank. The lion fish were doing there thing, looking beautifully menacing. The meerkats were also very active. The kids loved it. They didn’t love that we didn’t hit the gift shop, but I think all is forgiven.

And finally, ten days of school left. Ten days. Nine and half for me, but that’s not a big thing. The Eldest moves on from elementary school. It’s so weird. It doesn’t seem like she should be that old. It only seems like the other day, maybe a week or so at the most, that she was coming home from the hospital. A few hours ago she was starting school. I don’t think the time’s been wasted, it just seems to have gone far too quickly. I won’t even go into the Boy’ going into Kindergarten come the next school year.

“Sabe the Pig”…

I was putting the Boy to bed and came across an old stuffed animal he’s had for a number of years. It’s a pig, and it looks like it is made out of some bright pink, floral printed upholstery. It’s actually intended as a dog’s chew toy. Our dog has shown a tendency to chew on any stray stuffed toys he come across, and so we decided to get one the dog could chew on.

This did not sit well with the Boy. At the ripe old age of one and some change, he tromped into the kitchen where we kept the dog at nights. We were also putting the pig in so the dog could have at it. But no, the Boy had to “sabe the pig”. And he went on and on about how the pig was his favorite, and how he loved it.

And so it remains. He’s got it in bed tonight. He still loves it, he says. He’s still set on keeping the pig safe from getting chewed on. While he’s still young and there is so much more for him to become, I hope this is one thing that never changes.

Bunnies & Bunnies

I’m sure there’s a special Hell for this, but I’m eating a chocolate bunny while going back and forth and petting the new pet bunny.

I finally got the hutch situated. I then promptly spent an extra hour making additions in order to keep the new bunny in properly. All I need to do now is build a fence around the whole damn thing and she can have some running space outside as well.

We went to Florida over our Spring Break. Disney World, to be precise. It was a lot of fun. The last time we did that the Beast wasn’t even two. Now the youngest is five and they all had a blast. Granted, the Beast had too much fun, and we discovered she isn’t a roller coaster fan. The Boy is, but alas he’s still a might small for most of them. And it was the Beast’s birthday during the trip as well. Of course, on the way back the little brats are clamoring for a trip to a Great Wolf Lodge…

I’ve been applying to other schools, to see if I can get something just a bit closer to home. It would be nice if the commute wasn’t so much of one.

And now it’s off to watch episode 2 of American Gods.

Little Concrete Pig

It’s mine, all mine. Not that my siblings would want it. Well, maybe. I don’t care, it’s mine.

Probably one of the only positive memories I have of my grandma is that of the numerous flowerbeds around her old home. Looking back I think it’s safe to say they were her one true pride and joy. Full of all manner of flowers, all I can really recall after all these years are the roses. There were also several birdbaths, that I recall being full of water and birds. There was an apple tree right up against her house, but there was a plum tree among the garden beds as well. I remember eating my fill of fresh fruit on a regular basis during the summers.

And then there were the little concrete pigs. All whole family of them, the mother pig and her three little piglets. I think time has fairly well destroyed all but one of the piglets, and I’ve got it. I’ve given it a rough recoating of black paint, and I’m hoping to finish it off soon. Then I’m going to try and remember how the white played on it.

My grandma is still alive and kicking, and somehow she continues to become even more of a crotchedy old racist biddy as time marches on. But at least I will always have a few good memories. And a concrete pig.

I Need New Friends

Okay, that’s a bit mean sounding, isn’t it? It’s not that my current friends are bad, it’s just that they aren’t where I’m at. I could easily hang out with some of the guys more, but no. I need new friends.

I don’t know how to do this either. I’m just now hitting this realization. I can’t really relate to any of them, that much. And the ones I’d be interested in trying to further develop a friendship were always more acquaintances really. And the only common ground now would be having kids. I’m kind of pointedly trying to find some link outside of that. I love my kids, but I’m not my kids. There’s more than that.

I imagine I’m terribly picky, or nit-picky. I’m also probably hard to put up with, how the missus has done for almost 20 years is beyond me. I’m also having to come to grips with the reality that there really isn’t much to me beyond my kids. I like gaming, but that’s tricky enough as is, what with the kids. Plus most of the gaming crowd doesn’t have kids, so they are free to game whenever, where ever. Okay, there’s one of the friends who seems content to do this as well, but he’s self-absorbed. I’m not. I’ve at least got that going for me.

I’ve tried getting some writing groups going, largely at the behest of the missus. But those almost immediately fall through, again because of the missus and her inability to follow through on even three pages of writing. Unless she just doesn’t want to write with me, which admittedly is a valid option but it also smacks of late teen angsting over one’s love and devotion. Fuck that, no. I know she’s just more than a touchy flighty and that it isn’t personal.

I’m sort of at an impasse. I don’t really know where to go from there. Here. Where ever. I do know I need to move on though. I need to do something, find something, find someone outside of all of it and reconnect, but it honestly just looks like at present that’s impossible.

In other news I had kidney stone last week. I think I’d rather just up and die than go through that again. I’m still sore and achy from it. We have the big family trip coming up also, Disney World here we come!

Spring’s Dawning

It’s finally here. The weather is even starting to think about evening out here in North Carolina. Soccer is in full swing and the Boy is not acting like a complete goob now.

The Eldest is catching back up on school. I think finally giving some sort of medicine a go has been the best course. It’s a low dose. It’s been rather amazing to see her blow through homework, and to actually talk beyond some sort of muttered obligatory response.

I’ve been reading Dragonlance again. I got the new(ish) Lost Chronicles. I got to say it’s the sloppiest piss poor writing I’ve read since the first Chronicles. I’m not saying I’m disappointed, but I am they don’t seem to have gotten any better in thirty years.

I’m thinking I’m going to be giving the LARP a try. Or at least check it out. I’m feeling it might be a better fit than the other one. I’m pretty much just rambling at this point, I think I’m off the bed. I suck at this.

March, March, March

Is upon us. Spring is kind of already here.

I got a birthday coming up. Shit. I forgot for most of this year so far that I’m just now turning 38, and that I haven’t been there this whole time. I don’t think it’s so much a getting old and forgetful thing, but more than I generally don’t think about it. My kids love birthdays and they love to celebrate. So cake and stuff all around. I think I’m buying myself a hat.

I’ve always loved hats, but never really worn them. All it’s been for years has been ball caps, which I actually despise. But I got a derby a couple of year ago. I think I like interesting hats. My other issue has been my own head. It seems kind of big, and on top of that my hair is insanely thick.

The Boy got a haircut. And he seems to have my thick, unruly hair. I’m not sure what the change has been of late but I’m his favorite person at the moment. Or one of them. The Beast also got haircut, back to her short style she likes. She likes it so much she’s headbutted her sister over it.

I’m thinking of busting into the Missus’ V-day present, a complete works of Shakespeare. I’m not sure if I would start with Julius Caesar, but it would be fitting.

Barf, as far as the eye can see

Everybody’  sick. Except me. And give it time, I imagine. And it’s been like this for far too long. The Boy started it off, maybe. Or not, who knows. But it ran through the kids, the Missus, and a brief bout hit me back in January. Then the Boy came down with ‘a little pneumonia’ as the doctor put it. And then it all came back last week with the Boy throwing up in the middle of the night. And then again the next night, but not as much. It finally ended Sunday, but by then the Beast was puking. And then last night so did the Eldest. And in the middle of the night the Missus.

So I’m sitting here, taking a sick day to try and take care of them all. The Missus is out, finally. Sort of. She has to have some sort of TARDIS stomach to account for the amount of puking she did. I didn’t think it was possible to puke as much as she did and actually have something to puke. But me? I’m honestly feeling fine. So I’m hoping my superhuman immune system is doing its thing.

You’re Old & You Are Going To Die

Don’t get me wrong, the loss of talent in 2016 has been both horrific and devastating. But this isn’t about our favorite people, this about us. We as a generation, the youth (or not so youthful in some cases) who grew up with these colossal figures are getting old. Our heroes of old were getting older right along with us. The 80’s were thirty years ago. Thirty years. That’s three decades. The 70’s? Forty years ago. That beloved idol who might have been in their twenties back then would be roughly in their sixties.

And that kick-ass Rock N’ Roll lifestyle? The ‘Devil may care’ ideology that made you all warm and sticky on the inside? That’s shit is rough on a person. Even if that’s not the chance, humanity is saddled with some truly messed genetic material that lends itself to all manner of deadly conditions. Cancer. Heart disease. Diabetes. It’s like our own bodies are out to get us.

So yeah, 2016 has take a fair number of people who entertained us immensely. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The really scary, the really sad thing is that this year has been a big wake-up call. Teens aren’t the only ones who think they are immortal. Hell, I honestly don’t remember thinking any such idiocy as a teen. And I can’t think of any of my friends who did. No, 2016 has told the world loud and clear that life is still just as terminal a condition as it’s always been. For centuries and millennia and eons. Since the dawn of time, since the birth of the universe. If it lives, it will surely die.

Slight shift in gears here- My Beast became aware of mortality far too early. I’m not sure what did it. It wasn’t a death in the family or any such thing, those are understandable revelations. I guess she just realized it. It’s been a thing ever since. It’s hard trying to explain how it all works. It’s hard explaining why, especially when there’s not really any reason beyond the simple fact that such is life. To live, and eventually to die. No escaping it, it’s part of the package. I try to emphasize the good bits in between. Fun, family, friends, chocolate. It seems to help. And that’s the other part, we are in it in together. All of us. Slowly, inexorably, shuffling our way towards an end.

So here’s hoping not to avoid that end somehow, but that when it comes it’s a damned good one.